T.A.

For time and all eternity. Till death do us part. For as long as you both shall live. These may be familiar phrases, but unfortunately the blissful things they promise do not always come true. By looking at the current divorce rates it is painfully evident that love is not a fairy tale. Almost half of U.S. marriages end in divorce, so obviously not everyone is living happily ever after. But why? People get married because they love each other, so why do so many marriages end in unhappiness? A multitude of reasons, really, so some may wonder how we can attempt to pinpoint any kind of solution. The truth is, there is no easy answer, but like any problem, going back to the beginning may be helpful. So how do all marriages start? Of course we know they are all preceded with dating. What are the consequences of time spent dating each other on the success of a couple’s marriage?
A study was done on this topic, where middle-aged wives were polled. They were asked how long they had spent dating their current spouse and then answered questions about their marital happiness. The results speak for themselves. There was a strong correlation between time spent dating and marriage satisfaction. The people who reported dating their husband for shorter periods of time (0-5 months) also reported being much unhappier in their marriages than those who had dated their husbands for longer periods of time. And it makes sense. People who date for a long time get to know each other really well. They figure out how to deal with problems while they are dating. “Feelings of frustration with marriage or with ordinary daily conflicts may not be interpreted as negatively by individuals who gave their relationship enough time during dating to reveal such problems before marriage.”
The researchers hypothesized that “short periods of dating may mean that individuals do not get much chance to experience troublesome differences, and thus when differences inevitably arise afterwards, they cause greater problems to the marriage.”