F.W.

When we came to earth God gave us all many talents and good personality traits. I was lucky enough to be blessed with brains, some musical ability, and a little athletic prowess. I'm a good cook, an entertaining storyteller, and I always give the best advice. But in order to keep me humble I was also blessed with a few flaws. I can't walk in a straight line, I have a bad habit of talking too loud at inappropriate times, and my brain is devoid common sense. Worst of all, though, I tend to always want what I can't have. When I was a kid and we were told to keep out of the cookie jar my brothers and sisters were sad, but they got over it. I, however, did not. Instead, all I could think about was cookies. I wanted them more than I had ever wanted anything else. It didn't even matter if I liked that particular kind of cookie. Oatmeal raisin actually makes me sick, but when I wasn't allowed to have them I craved them. Something about the unattainable was indescribably appealing. I had numerous experiences like this one as I grew up, but this character flaw truly presented itself as I got older and began dating. I would go through a cycle every single time I liked a boy. He didn't give me the time of day so I instantly developed a crush on him. I couldn't have him so of course I desperately wanted him. Then we would start talking and he would begin to really like me too. But as soon as I found that out I would find things wrong with him and move on. If he liked me it meant that I could actually have him, so I didn't want him anymore. It was a vicious circle that hasn't completely disappeared. I guess the root of the problem is that more than anything else I love a challenge. Perhaps I should take up some ridiculously hard sport and channel those energies into something productive!

R.A.

I don't really have a source to analyze right now, which is the problem. My first paper was about school uniforms and why they stop school violence. The weakest part of the paper was definitely in dealing with my counter-argument, which is the cost of school uniforms. It is a big problem, because a lot of people can't afford them and the whole point is obviously for everyone to have one. All of the rearch I can find about paying for school uniforms is from other countries, though! Mostly England. They have all kind of grants and ways for the government to pay for the uniform, which is great, but I need a United States example, since I am not writing to British people. And they do have good ideas, but they would require law changing and I don't really have time to get into that in my 1000 word paper. So I'm kind of in a bind. I guess if I knew of any real-life examples of schools that got money somehow to pay for uniforms that would work, but I have no idea how to find something like that. I didn't actually have uniforms in any of the schools I went to, so I don't have any firsthand experience with the realities of paying for school uniforms. If any of you know of something like that and could tell me how I could find information on it that would be great, because information is what I need to add to my counterargument. Not just my own ideas, but ideas that have worked for school districts already. Hopefully by adding that it will strengthen my paper a lot. In general I think I just need to add more research to everything, though. The more sources I have the more credible my ideas are and the more likely I will be to convince anyone of anything.

T.A.

Practice working through problems is a huge benefit of dating for a longer period of time. The researchers from the previously mentioned study noted that “feelings of frustration with marriage or with ordinary daily conflicts may not be interpreted as negatively by individuals who gave their relationship enough time during dating to reveal such problems before marriage.” Couples who are good at working out little difficulties will be better equipped to handle the bigger problems that life will inevitably spring upon them. This may not be the case with couples who date for only a few short months and subsequently do not get a lot of experience dealing with problems. The researchers hypothesized that “short periods of dating may mean that individuals do not get much chance to experience troublesome differences, and thus when differences inevitably arise afterwards, they cause greater problems to the marriage.”
(Do I need a transition sentence here?)
Cheryl Dakis is a pre-marriage and education coordinator in Melbourne, Australia who meets with a lot of couples preparing to get married. She suggests they wait until the first infatuation phase (usually about 6 months) is over before they even think about getting married. “Physiologically in that early flush of romance there are a lot of feel-good hormones floating around the body that change the way a couple sees things. The old saying ‘blinded by love’ is so true. We only see what we want to see. (Couples) need to get through that phase and really get to know each other.”
This may be a touchy subject for many Mormons. It is not uncommon in our culture for people to get married after knowing each other for only a few months. We understand how important it is to get married; the prophets have told us numerous times. The Doctrine and Covenants even tells us that we have to get married in order to obtain the highest degree of celestial glory. People often argue that if marriage is so imperative and you know you have found “the one” why wait? But this is not something that has been encouraged by church leaders. Elder Hugh B. Brown said, “Infatuation may be romantic, glamorous, thrilling, and even urgent, but genuine love should not be in a hurry…Time should be given for serious thought, and opportunity given for (each partner to gain) physical, mental, and spiritual maturity. Longer acquaintances will enable both to evaluate themselves and their proposed companions, to know each other’s likes and dislikes, habits and dispositions, attitudes and aspirations.”

T.A.

For time and all eternity. Till death do us part. For as long as you both shall live. These may be familiar phrases, but unfortunately the blissful things they promise do not always come true. By looking at the current divorce rates it is painfully evident that love is not a fairy tale. Almost half of U.S. marriages end in divorce, so obviously not everyone is living happily ever after. But why? People get married because they love each other, so why do so many marriages end in unhappiness? A multitude of reasons, really, so some may wonder how we can attempt to pinpoint any kind of solution. The truth is, there is no easy answer, but like any problem, going back to the beginning may be helpful. So how do all marriages start? Of course we know they are all preceded with dating. What are the consequences of time spent dating each other on the success of a couple’s marriage?
A study was done on this topic, where middle-aged wives were polled. They were asked how long they had spent dating their current spouse and then answered questions about their marital happiness. The results speak for themselves. There was a strong correlation between time spent dating and marriage satisfaction. The people who reported dating their husband for shorter periods of time (0-5 months) also reported being much unhappier in their marriages than those who had dated their husbands for longer periods of time. And it makes sense. People who date for a long time get to know each other really well. They figure out how to deal with problems while they are dating. “Feelings of frustration with marriage or with ordinary daily conflicts may not be interpreted as negatively by individuals who gave their relationship enough time during dating to reveal such problems before marriage.”
The researchers hypothesized that “short periods of dating may mean that individuals do not get much chance to experience troublesome differences, and thus when differences inevitably arise afterwards, they cause greater problems to the marriage.”

R.A.

Ok, back to statistics about my paper. One interesting thing they talked about was that people are divorcing earlier and earlier in their marriages. What used to be the seven-year itch is now the two year-itch. After 5 years of marriage approximately 10% of marriages end in divorce.

1. The argument is that marriages are ending sooner and sooner.

2. The audience is whoever would look up this study, so probably not the average person.

3. Obviously, since this is a statistical study, there is a lot of logos used. They have done research on a lot of people to find out divorce rates. Ethos is used, because this is from the U.S. Census Bureau Reports. Being that they are the official government census agency they are obviously very credible. Pathos is not really used, because these are straight facts, and there's no real arguing with the numbers. Their argument is sufficient, because they did poll a lot of people to get their information. Their argument is typical, because they didn't really do anything too out of the ordinary. Their argument is accurate, because what is more accurate than a census? Their argument is definitely relevant, because the stats don't lie.

4. I think they make a good argument, because everthing makes perfect sense. More than anything it's just surprising.

F.W.

New Years Resolutions. Everyone makes them, but no one keeps them, right? It's always the same thing: this year I'll exercise, this year I'll eat healthy, this year I'll save more money...

They're always admirable goals, but the problem is they are also very lofty. 10 pounds is a lot to lose by February and it's crazy to think all your bad habits could disappear in just a year.

Last year I realized that the resolutions I was making weren't really getting me anywhere. So I decided instead of making "serious" resolutions I would make fun ones!

My first major goal was to be learning how to wink. All my life I've had a problem with this elusive skill. Not being able to do it really frustrated me, because I thought it was such a useful thing to be able to do! Plus everyone else could do it. I've really never met anyone who can't.

So starting in January I practiced. Every day as I got ready I would look in the mirror and try to wink. For the first few months it was just blinking, but by the summer I could kind of do it and by August I was a pro. Mission accomplished.

This year I have a new goal. Whistling. (I know, I can't do anything). So far I can't do it, but I'm okay with that since it's not that serious of a resolution. I know if I don't ever learn I'll be ok and that makes New Year's Resolutions much less pressure-filled. When January rolls around I"m excited, and not wary, to make all kinds of goals. And I have such a good time crossing those things off my list as the year goes by. Of course, I think it's brilliant. But you guys can decide for yourselves.

T.A.

I thought I'd write quickly about my audience for my next paper. My WATCO is going to be:
WATCO getting married at a young age on survival of marriage?

Before I talk about my audience, though, I'm trying to decide if I should pick a specific age as my deadline. A "young age" seems very broad, but I'm having a hard time deciding what I would choose for a specific age. 22? 25? It'd be hard to find specific studies about a random age I just pick. Then I was thinking I could specify a young age as before graduating college, but I'm still kind of iffy about that too. My point is basically that there's no reason to rush into marriage when you're 19, but I'm not sure how to word that in my WATCO.

Anyway, about my audience. I want to write to young people wanting to get married. But should I narrow it down to engaged young people? Or even specifically to young Mormons? I think that would be really difficult, because in our culture, getting married really fast at a really young age is commonplace. And I definitely think it's good to get married when you find the right person. Maybe the point I'm trying to make is that dating for awhile before you get married can only help. I've heard way too many stories lately about people who got married young and didn't date for a long time who are now getting divorced. It's probably a combination of the two.

Right now I think I'm leaning toward writing toward engaged young people. I think I'll specify young as being under 25, because they seem the most likely to make a rash decision. I just want to emphasize the point that it's a very important decision and there's no need for it to be rushed. In that case, maybe I do want to narrow it down to Mormons, because then I can talk about how marriage is forever, so it's an even bigger deal.